Self-Gaslighting: The Harm of Being Gaslighted
Monopolization of perception is a term used by psychologist Albert Biderman in his chart of coercion that identified ways that American prisoners of war were brainwashed into complacency (Biderman, 1957). But actually, monopolization of perception is similar, if not the same, and a more useful description of what actually is taking place in gaslighting.
- Being told, “You're crazy” or “You don’t make sense.”
- Distorting the truth of what took place and accusing the other of distortion. “You’re wrong—you don’t remember.”
- Outright lying and denying reality.
- Twisting the victim's words to mean something negative and disregarding any attempts at clarification.
- Discounting the feelings of the other with criticism such as, “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re over-reacting”—although, given the circumstances, they’re not.
- Name-calling and putdowns that are meant to degrade, humiliate, and create shame.
- Claiming to be a victim and accusing the victim of being abusive when confronting them about their behavior.
Self-Gaslighting
If you are a recipient of gaslighting, you can develop negative beliefs about yourself. Internalizing the negative attacking messages could result in, for example, believing “I’m not good enough,” “There’s something wrong with me,” or “I’m at fault.” These beliefs can include distorted beliefs about the cause of the hurtful psychological abuse that leads to blaming yourself and allowing in harmful feelings such as fear, shame, or guilt. These negative feelings can contribute to anxiety, depression, low self-worth, and suicidal thoughts. When these hurtful beliefs and feelings about yourself are left unattended, you continue to be vulnerable to self-gaslighting and the coercion of the gaslighter.
