Wings

 

Creed: Torn

 

To my stalkers (if only I was so lucky…lol)

If you’ve seen any pics of me online they’re ANCIENT!  I haven’t taken any selfies in over five years.  What I’m trying to say is that I’m not as fat as I was in any pics that can be found online of me.  

Turn Me On

 

NiN: Somewhat Damaged

 

No comment

 

Madonna once again

 

White Heat

 

Sophie Ellis-Bextor feat. Junior Caldera

 

BPD - obsession

Exploring the Top 10 Obsessive Behaviors Associated with BPD

Marx quote

 

NiN

 

Cher

 

Dark quotes

 

Some quotes

It was supposed to be a joke

 

I’m good at making a fool out of myself

I figure that it’s important to note something else that I’m good at.  /s

I really need to figure out how to get over certain things.  Ignoring it isn’t doing it.  Sleeping isn’t doing it.  

I’m like an obedient little puppy, though.  Don’t bug the master unless he calls.  Then, when he calls, I’m too eager to oblige.  🤦🏼‍♀️

I’m going to try and sleep, now.

Too tired

I had plans to make an actual update video, but I’ve been so tired.  I thought that I could stay awake longer, tonight, but I doubt that I can.  All I’ve been doing is sleeping, the last two days.  

It's so much easier to fake it

 

Calling All Angels

 

I Will Survive

For now, I’m going to sleep.

Rant regarding denial of service attacks

To whoever is doing it:

Me, when I do research

I tend to overdo it, often, hoping that I don’t miss anything (yet, I seem to always miss something). It feels like I’m beating a dead horse, at times.

Impulses

I need to control my impulses better.  It’s not like they’re bad, but I end up wasting time.  Not to mention that there are no rewards; therefore it isn’t gratifying.

05-21-2024 nutrients

I really need to cut down on my carbs.  I’d go back to eating low-carb and high protein if my stomach didn’t hurt just by me thinking about eating meat.  At least my sugar intake is low.  🤷🏼‍♀️

 

Amber

 

The Way I Are (Dance With Somebody)

 

Malcolm X quote

 

Chase It

 

Can’t sleep

 

Karl Marx on religion

I can’t seem to find where this quote is from.  I need to search my ebooks. I thought of another quote, from Marx, while listening to an interview with Tulsi Gabbard on the Christian Broadcasting Network.  She seems to think that there’s no such thing as freedom from religion.  Anyway, I like this quote better than the other one.

BPD again

I listened to a podcast on the ‘fear of abandonment’, earlier.  I don’t know why I did.  It’s from a YouTube channel that I’ve listened to a few videos on BPD.  I have quite a few of the symptoms, I believe (I had one psychiatrist tell me that she thought that I was misdiagnosed with bipolar II disorder and PTSD).  The bipolar disorder diagnosis didn’t make much sense to begin with.  I just don’t believe in psychology much, anymore, so I refuse to return to a psychiatrist.  All they do is push pills, and therapy has never helped.  I’m tired of taking medications and having side effects (speaking of which, I’m going to stop taking the new medication, as I’m tired of the mood swings).  

Earlier, I couldn’t sleep.  The physical and mental pain was too much.  I actually cried (most of the day I was giggling at everything as if I were high).  I become too obsessed with people, sometimes, and am too much of a people pleaser.  It’s as if I’m trying to impress others to make me feel worthy.  I don’t like that about myself.  Maybe I’m just too tired, and I am thinking too much?

I’m going to try and get some sleep.  When I wake up, I need to remember to quit trying to please people.  I doubt that it'll get them to like me, anyway.  That’s a whole other story.

Cat Janice

 

Illusion

 

Found something to hold my drink packets

 It’s a waterproof case for an ID badge.  

Train

 

05-14-24 Nutrients

My carbs are too high, but I’m so used to eating low carb that anything over 20 grams shocks me.

 

Well this explains some things

 

“But Everything Is Supposed to Get Better After Bariatric Surgery!” Understanding Postoperative Suicide and Self-injury

Armchair revolutionaries

 

🤦🏼‍♀️

I already ranted about it, at my WordPress.

I don’t believe in coincidences

 

Dancing on My Own

 

Jermaine Stewart

 

Good Riddance

 

Sith Code

Code of the Sith 

Frozen

 

JFC

I can’t sleep because of the pain.  I took half of a muscle relaxer and spiked my lemonade with vodka.  I hope that helps me to sleep.  The muscle relaxer, alone, didn’t work last time even though I took a whole tablet.  ☹️

Like It or Not

 

Music Gets the Best of Me

 

Sophie Ellis-Bextor

 

Lose Yourself

 

I did and I don’t regret it, even though it wasn’t everything that I had hoped.

Broken

 

Assholes

 

Quotes

Ziad K. Abdelnour

Abhysheq Shukla

Somewhat cryptic post

I knew.  I didn’t need the reminder.  It’s the same excuse each time.  Don’t apologize.  I don’t believe that you’re being sincere, anyway.

You may not think that I’m worthy of your time, but to be honest, you’re not worth my time.  I won’t make the mistake of thinking so, again.  I won’t be sharing my work, again, either.  You know where to find it if you really want to see it. 

Remember that I had no expectations.  Hope, maybe, but I got over that quickly.  You’re no different from anyone else.  Capitalism isn’t to blame, either.  I know better than that!

Hippeas Chickpea Puffs

 

These are good.  They just don’t have much protein in them.  There’s only three grams of protein per serving.  

Hailee Steinfeld

 

Confident

 

Marilyn Manson

 

Love The Way You Lie (Part II) (Pt. 2)

 

Kasey Chambers

 

Nobody Knows Me

 

Patty Loveless again

 

Antonio Gramsci again

 Source

Antonio Gramsci quote

 

Better Things to Do

 

Why Me?

 I love this song!

Better on Your Own

 

These are gross!

 

I tried eating one of these, but I couldn’t finish it! 🤢

Today’s MyFitnessPal stats

 

I need more protein.  I’ll probably have some plant-based jerky before the end of the day.

Discoproof

 

I like the original one better.

Someone Else’s Star

 

Trying to fight it

I thought that I was doing better, emotionally, but then I became sick.  Nothing seems to be helping with my depression.  I can’t sleep, even though I’m exhausted.  I’m trying to fight going back into a deep depression, though.  

I was trying to throw myself into my research, but I’m getting burnt out.  Ever since my blog came under attack, my views are zero.  Even before the DDoS, the views were low.  I’m pretty sure that one perpetrator was the Greek NeoNazi due to all the pingbacks (I turned them off).  I was only able to remove them after purchasing a web hosting plan, despite having had removed them before.  Despite doing so, someone is still targeting my site.

Anyway, I should try to get some sleep as I have to pick up groceries in the morning.

deadmau5: Seeya

 

Nine Inch Nails - Survivalism (feat. Deadmau5) [Deadmau5 Remix]

 

Oops!

I only ate one meal today.  I was feeling better for a while, but my fever started bothering me, again.  My goal is actually 1200 -1400 calories per day.

Crazy Beautiful

 

 

Autoimmune disease flares: stress, grief, and management tips

Nutrition strategies for flare management

Nutrition is essential when managing autoimmune flares, and it is easy to get off track when life doesn’t go as you expected. The first thing is not to put too much pressure on yourself. Instead, when you can, focus on nourishing food that will support you in this time of need.

Focus on whole foods, including fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Include foods rich in antioxidants, such as berries, leafy greens, and nuts. And omega-3 fatty acids found in fish and flaxseeds can help reduce inflammation.

Many food service companies now deliver whole foods and recipes to your door, so if you are short on time or don’t have the mental capacity to prepare something yourself, it might be worth investing in some help while you manage your situation.

It is also vital to reduce processed foods, sugary snacks, and excessive caffeine, as these can worsen your tolerance to stress. If you have any known food sensitivities, avoid these foods as much as you can, as your body is more likely to have a heightened response to such foods during times of stress and grief.

Ugly Heart

 

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

 

Don’t Test Me

 

Bad Romance